America chose Phobias and hatred

I had to take a day to sit with this one. November 6th was far too soon to even begin analyzing how I felt about America’s choice for President. When the result hit, it felt like a punch to the gut.

Over 70 million people just voted for a candidate who’s openly transphobic, homophobic, racist, and misogynistic—a man who seems to know only how to hate. People say, "It's not personal," and tell me to make the best of it. But from where I stand, as both a transgender person and an immigrant, it is deeply personal. Trump ran on a platform of bigotry, and people looked the other way. Why? For the economy? How does that make sense, when this man has bankrupted himself repeatedly and lost more money than he’s ever made? How is he the one they trust with the economy?

But what this election result really tells me is that, to over 70 million people, we just don’t matter. They'll claim this isn’t about trans rights—yet it absolutely is. They’ll say there are more important issues than transgender rights—but if that’s true, why are they electing people who want to legislate us out of existence? If you voted for Trump, knowing he would strip away my rights and vilify me, what does that say?

Trump made his intentions clear. He spoke about removing transgender protections at the federal level, banning gender-affirming care for youth, stripping federal funding from medical facilities that treat gender dysphoria, and forcing people to identify only with their sex assigned at birth. If you voted for him, you had to know this. And if you still chose him, you chose to ignore the drive to strip away rights from a minority group. You chose a government that wants to get between people and their doctors, that wants to enforce its narrow view of identity onto individuals. Or maybe you wanted that. Either way, you chose hate. And if you didn’t know about his stance, then you chose blindly—which, to me, is just as troubling.

People try to justify this, saying it was about the economy or a need for change. But there’s no justification for hatred. And say what you will about Trump, he’s always been forthright in his hate; he never hides it.

So yes, on November 6th, I was gutted. I didn’t get much sleep that night, and when I woke up, I knew who would be the winner. It was a sad, bleak day, and I spent it mostly on autopilot. Now, a day later, the situation hasn’t improved, but I’m in a slightly better position to process it. I mean, there’s not much I can do about it; I just have to deal with it. Am I expecting tough times ahead? Hell yes, I am.

Last year, over 600 anti-trans bills were introduced across the country. With this administration in power, I shudder to think how many more will be pushed forward. Here in Tennessee—a red state with a history of anti-trans legislation—life as a trans person is going to get even harder. Tennessee has already passed laws that make it difficult for trans people to have accurate gender markers on IDs, requiring proof of transition to match the gender marker on your driver’s license. It’s a mess of a law, which is why I chose not to get a Real ID; I didn’t want to jump through all those hoops. I have a federal ID with the correct gender marker, but I fully expect that to be impacted soon too.

Here’s what I’m expecting:

January 9th – When the Tennessee General Assembly begins its session, I expect Republicans to show up with a handful of new anti-trans bills. Banning gender-affirming care for trans youth, bathroom bills, laws restricting public presentation of gender identity—these have all been attempted before, and now I fully expect them to come back with even more force.

January 20th – I’m bracing for executive orders from the "Numpty-in-Chief," stripping away federal protections for transgender people. His team has already outlined steps to rescind protections impacting healthcare and federal employment rights, making life harder for a community that already struggles to access both. After that, I expect Congress to follow suit, pushing for more restrictions.

How long before they promote criminalizing gender nonconformity? That might sound extreme, but his campaign supported the idea of using federal laws to limit gender expression in public.

During this election cycle, I kept asking myself, why? Why would people be okay with this? Why would anyone support a person like this to run the country? Why does anyone feel they have the right to control my identity?

Yes, things look bleak. On November 6th, I wasn’t prepared to confront that feeling. I spent the day just trying to get through it. And as if that wasn’t enough, I’ve also been wrestling with a crisis of confidence in my writing.

I’m not seeing much in the way of sales or readership for my books. I know my work sits in a niche market—transgender, lesbian characters in a fantasy world with swords and sorcery. It’s not exactly mainstream, but I’d love to see it reach more people. Lately, it feels like only family and a few friends are reading my work. The only person who read it on Kindle Unlimited was a marketing person who obviously skimmed. Occasionally, someone pops up, reads 60-100 pages, and stops. And each time that happens, it chips away at my confidence. I start to wonder: does my writing actually suck?

That’s a question I don’t want to face. I love the ideas I come up with, and I’m driven to write them down. But if no one’s reading it, is there any point in continuing?

So why am I able to write about all this now? Honestly, I’m not sure. I spent most of November 6th feeling numb, but I allowed myself a little time that evening for introspection. When I woke up this morning, I felt a flicker of determination, like, there’s life in the old girl still.

Do we have tough times ahead? Yes. Will we have to fight for our rights? Yes. Nothing has changed between today and November 6th, except my attitude. I won’t—I can’t—let anyone get between me and my identity. I won’t let anyone reduce my rights, dictate how I should conform, or prevent me from accessing healthcare I need. Letting them choose my path would mean letting hatred win, and that I cannot allow.

As for my writing, I need to remember why I started in the first place. I write to share ideas and to give transgender and minority people representation in fantasy. Thousands of readers would be amazing, but that’s not the point. What matters is that my work is out there, waiting for someone who might need it to find it. I have to keep going, keep living as the best version of myself.

In the end, America may have chosen hatred—but I can never be less than myself. And I will keep being visibly authentic, no matter what comes next.